The Democratic Republic of Club Bastardo is a large, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its zero percent divorce rate and irreverence towards religion. The quiet, industrious population of 78 million Club Bastardians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 8.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Club Bastardian economy, worth 4.14 trillion Pork Sodas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Cheese Exports, and Soda Sales. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 53,077 Pork Sodas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Extreme political groups are outlawed, the institution of marriage is held sacred and strictly enforced, light entertainment isn't dead, and punitive tariffs protect local industry. Crime is almost non-existent. Club Bastardo's national animal is the Ol' Diamondback Sturgeon, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Club Bastardo is ranked 100,590^th in the world and 693^rd in Europeia for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 50.5 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.